29 days

i've spent 29 days not knowing what to do.

like the bee sting burrowed in my summer's foot,
the unknown festers.

no teacher said, "thank you for remaining silent in class.  oh, and thank you for not answering that question.  not to mention, thank you, truly, for all you haven't comprehended here today."

but why?

why does me knowing or not matter?  to me or you.

i've spent my whole life acting, taking action, executing action plans, and acting without knowing
for the simple reason that i had to keep moving, keep answering, keep making choices to earn the gold star.

choose a or b or c or d or all of the above or none of the above.  do it.  now.  answer the question whether you know, you cheat, you guess.  just fucking answer the question.

because if i didn't, i would lose.  i would fail.  me.  you.  the big talking head.  game over.

perhaps, me not knowing was the best thing that ever happened to me.

and it scared you.

i don't know.