LOVE LIFE

two men 

said -

love life

one in a song,

the other on

a sign 

"love life"

simply

written 

or said

both men

are true

but fuck if it

ain't false

sometimes.

tail feathers

wind whipped leaves

and your word 

quivers

no truth

can hide in

your feathers

and you'll wait 

'til the storm 

has passed

to take a stand

but it won't fly

in this nest

anymore.

wise pop

how are you?

i'm alright, he said

only alright?

it's not that things

aren't well, 

i just want you and belle

to be happy.

we are happy,

just hit a few bumps

in the road today,

that's all

well, if you're happy

then i'm happy,

he said

we held hands and

tears melted 

his soft cheeks

and i knew

what 

he said 

was right.

love is freedom

"our parents taught us to be careful with glasses and with our bodies. they taught us that the passions of childhood are impossible, that we should trust men in white suits, that people cannot perform miracles, and that no one leaves on a journey without knowing where they are going. break the glass, i thought to myself, because it's a symbolic gesture. try to understand that i have broken many things within myself that were much more important than glass and i'm happy i did. resolve your own internal battle and break the glass."

last night i awoke and walked into the garden's dew. mist collected in my curls and i wept. love came to me and i accepted. the Mother, the Woman, i had met seven years ago returned to my side. above me, showering me with truth, i lay open, gutted from its entirety. i hear you, breathe you, this water and dirt enveloping me is love.

i've been paralyzed with fear - fear of rejection, acceptance, and even success. sometimes i couldn't rise out of bed, under sheets of darkness, disappointment. the sun in my sky was a bruised apple and my heart was swollen with shallow sexual compliments and drunken abatements.

god is love. did you hear me, god is love. but can i give love without the promise of return? without dogmatic repercussions and compulsive hair pulling? can i give it without a "you" to give it to? can i save it for me?

cause damn, i thought my joy, ecstasy came from you. i cried for days when you wouldn't acknowledge, accept my love, you drowned in those blue blankets and i stared out upon the sea of asphalt for your profile in the shadows. but my pyramid was building. brick by brick. and if god created us for love then everything leading us to sadness is of our own doing. own it.

i thought love meant security, a pact against all odds, a commitment. but every promise i've made a mutiny on. and if i fall love, may it be from a high place because i am ready to sit in silence, to jump in the inferno of my own madness and sip the froth.

i knew i wanted this. to break the looking glass that peers out instead of in. i see you sitting there. do you see me?

stress relief

i was driving

down the freeway

with daily stress on

my brow

and found myself

pondering

the profession

of massage

i received

my first massaging

last weekend

from a 

dark haired woman 

who held my hand 

like a lover

during orgasm

god, when

was the last time

i did that?

with left hand

on the steering wheel,

i reached 

down to my crotch

and imagined

and remembered

until i came

right there

in the driver's seat

and  

honestly, it was

just that simple

to find relief

freedom ain't free

i have one sentence to fit everything because sentence should be spelled sentance the way i pronounce it and the 8 o'clock hour has inspired all these fucking conundrums in and around my dome like how i only have one life to live, minus the soap opera plus the ex-lover who complicates business because if i build it you will come but i'm afraid of failure so this isn't a school, academy, or center i'm constructing because those titles are loaded dogma and i can't stand associating myself with MIT teacher martyrs sucking institutional penis, but i have to approach and act with acceptance otherwise i'm as crooked as the cocks-man who unravels my existence, period

if i build it they will come, if i build it you will come, now shut up and do, period

A.I.

cheez-its

of modern

science

savor

the taste

of this

artificial 

intelligence.