a spade

i once had lover who wrote me

and i would anticipate his sex
like hose water on an August garden.

tonight, i await the
reply of middle aged woman
over a proposed business takeover

that could pay the bills.

funny how simple getting off is
but how different it feels

when fucking a spade or a queen.

ambient rest

i take a pill

that eliminates
the endless email
the lagging phone call

one night's rest at a time.

and if the world pokes me
a simple re-dose
works until dawn

this state of surrender
has me rendered
like the tales' Grimm.

fuck this.

incarnation

summertime.

call it unofficial
but i saw my nipples
this season's begun.

the boys are basking
in halos unmasking,
but where is
the pun?

time to write script
but this season
has stripped
my winter's undone.

welcome back.

parenting

one of the most challenging aspects of parenting is self-preservation.

make love, a voice whispers. make love to yourself, you fool. funny because i've spent years of my life copulating, fucking, sucking. unifying myself with another calling it "love making."

but i hadn't made love until i became a mother. now, i am shedding my life's blood and infusing this beautiful creature with every ounce of red and purple pumping. it is alchemy. the ability to give and give yet somehow remain standing and hugging this child closer than i did the day before. LOVE MAKING.

how is this possible? well, the whisper says, hey you, go fuck yourself. with meditation, a bukowski poem, a cup of tea, and that hand of yours. it's just that simple. and hard. to come by as a parent. now if you will excuse me, i must go make this love inside. tomorrow is calling and her name is MIRABELLE.

grocery list

i procured a man of groceries

for whom i shopped for smiles

but, i've known no man of produce

that can fill this cart of guile

until i reach the top shelf

i'll negate your shiny aisle.

taxed

a third of all profits

goes to taxes

so i'm drinking my 401k

straight from the bottle

investing in stocks

of fresh shasta daisies

and there's no way

i'm gonna go bankrupt

because i already did.

heartbeat

i took a train to the heartland

and found a man who's pulse was fast.

he grabbed my hand and told me to look up

so i did and haven't been down since.