here's to the journey

with belle

in the bath,

i study

the lines,

the smile,

mirrored in

my image.

there i am

that infamous explorer

drunk and wild,

riding the north star

into storms

and heavens

only adventurers

know.

my first mate beckons

from a sea of bubbles

and i know it's time

to travel downstairs,

downstream -

to find our port and name it

with pen.

goodnight my

sweet love

may the wind

always be at our backs and

the sunshine warm

upon our faces

now

until forever.

shootin' hoop

i've been

engaged to a

mr.

and we played

one-on-one

in a closed court

but that hoop

hung our

knuckle ball

and my dish

ran away with

a spoon

no honey do

list here -

just a, to do

because i'm busy

shootin' free throws

to score a better me

and wonder if mrs.

will ever be a trophy

by my bed

immunity head

sittin' heavy in

a monarch's seat of fear.

like 1918,

this flu is pandemic

and my heart is contagious.

can't sleep

knowing bugs bite

no matter the smile.

grew up beyond death

in the land of never

and damn, i love you

more than dreams allow.

being a parent is hard.

and sometimes harder.

love you my belle.

"miss immunity head."

scorpio's prophecy

i hung up the phone to

a chest full of drawers:

letters, wishes,

drawings and bottles -

wine, musk,

and your peanut sauce

all labeled by year and vintage.

i know:

love is freedom,

love is pain,

love is your hand on my ass,

and my wishful thinking.

be.

and know that this too will pass.

and be again.

i sculpt lines under my eyes

to recall learnings

and to forget the losses -

only to wonder

when scorpio's moon

will be a good vintage.

zoo

belle and i went to the zoo.

as we were driving south,

i thought about that writer vegetarian

protesting the "tao of zoo."

i recall late 90's punk shows

lined with animal activists

(gory chicken pamphlets ring a bell?)

preaching passionately against

animal captivity and cruelty

and i wonder

why the gutter punks

never rallied against

the mass incarceration of kids,

you know, public school.

at least zoos try

to create habitat resembling "the wild"

and i ain't ever seen

a classroom

built in the trees.

have you?

act then talk

i can't tell 

you 

to do,

until 

i have tried 

it too

the more

weary

i be,

the more

i want

you 

to act 

fearlessly

act 

then

talk.

what i think

wearing a weeks worry 

cuffed in my blue jeans

i found refuge in the resurrection of yesterday's lover.

 

and who said lovers can't be friends?

i did.  but then time passed, and MISS matured into

WOMAN who saw beyond her wine soaked lips.

lust, if you're scribbling short stories, but introduce

soulfire named BELLE and my game withers, my dignity rises,

and i think i can, i think i can, 

until YOU and I are,

swinging in each others arms

shouting gospels until we cry wolf.

i love you.  i love the way your head sits on my shoulder

little girl, and ex-lover too.  the stress is gone,

buried beneath my winter sweaters.  still sweating from this purge.